Two Truths & A Lie About Sorrow, Joy and Happiness

There are, I have come to believe, two views of the world: the paid view and the unpaid view.

The paid view of life

The paid view is the one constantly sold to us. It tells us that happiness can be found in products, experiences, and lifestyles. From the beer that promises friendship and laughter, the vacation that signals freedom, to the luxuries that say you’ve finally “made it,” “deserve it” or are “worth it!”

Advertising has always sold this dream of happiness, but social media has bolstered and amplified it. Now we don’t just see ads from companies. We see curated lives from ordinary people, all suggesting that fulfillment is just one purchase, achievement, or transformation away.

And when that life isn’t ours, bitterness quietly creeps in.

Perhaps before social media there was less dissatisfaction because our worlds were smaller. We weren’t constantly exposed to endless images of what we lacked, what we could become, or how far behind we felt.

The Unpaid View of Life

Then there is the unpaid view of life or what I think of as the Eastern philosophical perspective. That life is simply full of sorrow. Often called an ocean of sorrow! Not a lake, a stream, or a river but…an ocean!!

And that there is no perfect escape from sorrow, uncertainty, loss, or struggle. At first glance, it can sound deeply depressing. Give me the paid view any day, the one where happiness can at least be purchased!

For a long time, I bought into that paid view. I kept searching for the happiness that always seemed just out of reach. The products didn’t quite fulfill me, but there was always another thing to buy, another version of myself to chase, another form of retail therapy to try.

In pursuit of happiness

And when that pursuit eventually began to feel hollow, I searched elsewhere. I turned toward wellness, spirituality, and alternative healing. I believed that maybe those who seemed to be so skilled at these modalities had discovered the secret I was missing. If only I could reach the level they had reached, perhaps I too would finally feel whole.

But even there, I discovered something surprising: they also had struggles. They too experienced pain, uncertainty, and challenges. And that realization changed something in me.

It brought me back to the unpaid view of life.

Not as a depressing philosophy, but as an invitation.

An invitation to Joy

The shift from doing to being, from outcome to process, and from the future to the present is subtle but profound. It moves you away from seeking happiness elsewhere towards discovering joy in what has been available all along.

And in that shift, something awakens within.

That something shows up when you stand waiting for your overdue turn in a doctor’s office, looking at the incessant rain, and the muddy pool of water collecting outside. Suddenly you’re struck by the immense beauty of the moment reflected in the light that ripples on that pool and the raindrops against the window.

Sorrow does not disappear. Life still asks us to cross difficult waters. But slowly, intentionally, you begin building a stronger boat to cross that ocean of sorrow. One made of awareness, meaning, love, and presence.

And from within that boat, the journey changes.

Not because life becomes perfect, but because contentment, wonder, and quiet joy begin to flow into even the simplest moments.

Here’s to finding the joy within.

Love,
Anu